Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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