You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Everyone says I win the strip club
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
