found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
