What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
