from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
