my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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