she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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