it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
