YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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