It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
