Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
