Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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