u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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