I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In other news, I just burned my penis
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize