do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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