i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
