Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She said her name was "party"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
