It's Friday. Sex?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
