Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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