you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if only i could text you this smell
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
