I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
