My first STD was from a foam party
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
