So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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