Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
