Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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