Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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