names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize