Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize