we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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