i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
