That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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