I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
