with your own penis?
we have officially lost it.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
