And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize