Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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