just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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