We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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