I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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