HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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