It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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