His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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