At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
