You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
