I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize