Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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