oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
