Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
