i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
