did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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