remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
