Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
