Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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