elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
