is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
