he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You were trust falling into bushes
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
