Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
