Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
