my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
