i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
