Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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