How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
