do herpes really smell.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
