he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
