If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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