Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
