I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga