The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.