i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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