There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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