I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
