Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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