living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
