that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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