tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
