I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
