He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
